Part of my goal in offering polyamory support to individuals and couples looking for poly-friendly counseling is to help them get clear on what’s the next best step for them. This will vary from person to person, couple to couple. The Exploratory Session is the first step in determining what kind of polyamory support is needed. If you’re wondering if you could benefit from working with a poly-friendly professional, ask yourself the following questions:
- Do you often feel isolated in your situation?
- Do you wish you had someone to talk to that understands where you are coming from?
- Are you in a committed relationship and want to open it but don’t know where to begin?
- Do you struggle with being poly in a not so polyamorous world?
- Do you spend more time educating your friends and loved ones about polyamory than actually getting the polyamory support you need?
- Has a trained couple’s therapist or relationship counselor told you that polyamorous relationships don’t work?
If you answered yes to one or more of the above questions, then please contact me. The polyamory support you need is just a few clicks away.
Do you need immediate assistance? Skip this section and call me today!
The Core “Dos And Don’ts” When Loving More Than One & How Polyamory Support Can Help
The core do’s and don’ts in polyamorous relationships are similar those in monogamous relationships – only more complex! The main difference, of course, is that there are more people involved with polyamory. This means more experiences to have, more personalities to consider, more emotions to feel, and more communication. Communication is key. Those who are considering or actively engaging in polyamory need to understand the importance of open honest communication. They need to actively practice being willing to talk about topics that might be challenging to talk about. In doing so, they will maximize clarity and understanding and minimize misunderstanding and confusion.
For more detailed polyamory support on communication, check out my full post dedicated to The Core “Dos And Don’ts In Polyamory And Polyamorous Relationships.
Using Polyamory Support To Help Navigate The Emotional Territory Of Polyamory
Navigating polyamory and polyamorous relationships is an incredible journey. The territory is rich with ups and downs, twists and turns, amazing highs and surprising lows. In creating healthy and sustainable poly relationships, we need to be willing to be open to everything that comes our way. Some days will be easy, others will be challenging. This is normal. Practicing polyamory opens the door for us to see and to learn more about how we navigate through life and through our relationships. The key is to find the best way to stay true to and honor ourselves while staying in connection with those around us.
For succinct polyamory support on how to make your way on the polyamorous relationship path, check out my full post dedicated to Navigating Multiple Romantic Relationships.
Polyamory Support Is An Asset To Communication In Poly Relationships
It’s quite common for couples to dive into polyamory without taking the time to communicate their needs and address boundaries. They soon learn that one or both of them made choices that the other was not okay with. This creates emotional turbulence between the individuals and results in a sense of uncertainty of how to move forward.
I am a firm believer that life is meant to be lived. It’s fun to make choices. In the poly lifestyle, there are lots of choices to make. That said, sometimes we get excited and we act before thinking everything through. In these moments, we might forget to share with our partner everything they might want to know. This poses a threat to any relationship because this withholding of information (whether intentional or unintentional) creates a gap in communication. Gaps in communication create gaps in connection.
Polyamory support helps couples learn how to address potential gaps in communication before they happen. This kind of support can be incredibly helpful for anyone exploring the poly lifestyle.
Let’s Talk About Rules & Agreements
As we venture into the world of polyamory and polyamorous relationships, we will come across many terms. Two very common and important terms are rules and agreements. Rules and agreements help us create a container in which we can move freely. Having a container allows us to feel safe and connected to our values and to relationships. This is incredibly important when building any kind of relationship; and sadly, this is often overlooked in poly relationships.
Many people reach out for polyamory support after someone has broken a rule or an agreement. Sometimes the agreement is broken deliberately; and, many times it’s not. Why? Often couples have an idea of what their agreements are but they don’t speak them. Unspoken agreements are not agreements. Sadly, this creates a lot of pain for everyone.
Learn more about rules and agreements and how polyamory support can help here.
Polyamory Support Helps People Keep Agreements With Multiple Partners
When people ask me about agreements for their poly relationships, I encourage them to discuss what they think will work best for everyone in the group. I share the importance of taking the time to discuss the different kinds of agreements they might want for other polyamorous relationships. I emphasize that in order for everyone to be on the same page, each person needs to have a say on the parameters of the agreements discussed.
To access polyamory support on how to create agreements, check out my full post dedicated to How To Create And How To Keep Agreements In Poly Relationships.
Dealing With Competition In Multiple Loving Relationships & How Polyamory Support Can Help
People often struggle with competition in polyamory and polyamorous relationships. It’s human nature to desire what someone else has or to want to do what someone else is doing (especially if they had an amazing time!). Competition doesn’t have to be bad. Healthy and playful competition can actually encourage people to do things they might not normally do. The flip side, however, is that competition can create conflict. And who wants that?
When dealing with competition, it best to talk about it. If it’s playful, then be clear about your intentions. If you are sensing that the competition seems negative, then address it immediately. This is where clear communication (and coaching) can be helpful.
For helpful polyamory support on how to deal with competition, check out my full post dedicated to Competition In Polyamorous Relationships.Schedule your free 30 minute consultation
Local Meetups: Accessing Polyamory Support Near You
There are plenty of ways to learn about polyamory and get polyamory support. One of my favorite ways to deepen my relationship with polyamory is to meet people in person. This can be edgy for some. Not everyone is game for going out, socializing, and sharing their stories. Attending meetups can be time-consuming and they might not live up to your expectations. That said, I like to encourage my polyamory counseling clients to see what kinds of poly-friendly events are happening in their community. It’s a great way to get polyamory support between coaching sessions.
Read common questions and answers that come up for people when they are looking for polyamory support meetup groups here.
How Do You Address The Topic Of Sexually Transmitted Infections In Polyamorous Relationships?
Let’s face it, the topic of Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) needs to be addressed in any kind of relationship, especially if you are considering engaging in polyamory and polyamorous relationships. Why? Because it’s the right thing to do. It is so important to be upfront with those you are going to be intimate with BEFORE you become intimate with them. By upfront I mean to be responsible, get tested, share results, offer full disclosure, and request the same from anyone (and everyone) you play with sexually. The conversation may be awkward. You may feel uncomfortable. Feel the feelings and do it anyway. The sooner you have the conversation, the sooner you can make a choice that best serves you and the person or people you are with. This is where working with a poly-friendly counselor can offer valuable polyamory support.
Polyamory Support Considers Poly Dating vs. Regular Dating
The main difference between poly dating and regular dating is the communication you might with the people you are dating. It’s incredibly helpful to share your relationship status with potential interests. I recommend people do this before they go on a date with someone. Sharing this information prior to meeting someone can save everyone a lot of time. It gives potential partners the information they need to determine if polyamory and poly dating is right for them before any meeting takes place.
For more information, check out my full polyamory support post dedicated to Poly Dating vs. Regular Dating.
Meeting Your Metamour & How Polyamory Support Can Help
Depending on your situation, you may choose to meet your metamour. Some people in polyamorous relationships really appreciate knowing, or at least meeting, the person with whom their partner spends time with. Meeting your metamour is a personal choice. As someone who works in the polyamory support field, I encourage my polyamorous coaching clients to talk with each other before meeting another’s partner. Have a conversation to get clear on who will initiate the meeting and who will be there. These details can be very helpful.
For more information check out my full polyamory support post dedicated to Meeting My Metamour.
An Interview With DatingAdvice.Com
Here’s an excerpt from a recent interview I had with DatingAdvice.Com. In the interview, I share tips and offer polyamory support on how to create healthy and sustainable relationships of all kinds.
“With an open mind and supportive advice, Laurie Ellington, also known as the Poly-Coach, encourages singles and couples to create the relationships they want. She doesn’t believe there’s only one right way to love someone. In her own life, she enjoys the freedom of ethical non-monogamy and has been in an open relationship with her primary partner for five years. As a dating and relationship coach, Laurie draws from her own dating experiences to offer a thoughtful perspective on what love means and how couples can build sustainable, natural relationships based on trust and communication. Whether you’re monogamish or proudly poly, the Poly-Coach welcomes individuals and groups of all types and encourages daters to live and love authentically.” Click here to access the complete article.
Polyamory Support via Podcast Interviews
As one of the leading experts in the polyamory-friendly counseling field, I have had the pleasure of being a featured guest on some of the top polyamory support networks. In the following interviews and podcasts, I offer candid advice for individuals and couples considering polyamory. I bring my own polyamorous relationship experiences to the table and offer insights into my Poly-Coach practice. Listeners get a glimpse of how working with a poly-friendly third party can bring more clarity, ease, and connection to any relationship.
Kitty Chambliss is the founder of “Loving Without Boundaries.” This online polyamory support group offers connection and polyamory resources to the global poly community. In this interview, I share my thoughts and insights on polyamory and my polyamory coaching practice. Click here to listen.
The Two Plus You Podcast is a series of interviews conducted by a passionate and exploring couple traveling the world. They offer a collection of experiential insight on different sexual lifestyles, giving listeners an opportunity to enjoy, model and dig deeper into their own relationship to sexuality.
In the following polyamory support interview, I share the unique facets of polyamory and polyamorous relationships. Click here to listen.
Poly Weekly is a polyamory support podcast devoted to people who practice responsible non-monogamy. It’s best known for its emphasis on inclusivity and kink-friendly points of view. Every week, Cunning Minx and her guests discuss issues relating to communication, gender, race, sex, kink, manners, dating, family and time management, with perspectives from all around the globe. Poly Weekly welcomes listeners of all gender identities, races, sexual and relationship orientations, religions, sizes and physical abilities.
In the following polyamory support podcast, Cunning Minx and I talk about Polyamory and Emotional Intelligence. Click here to listen.
Jayson Gaddis is an accomplished empowerment marriage and relationship coach. He is the founder of The Relationship School® and the host of The Smart Couple Podcast.
In the following polyamory support podcast interview, I join a team of polyamory and poly-friendly counseling experts address the question, “Is Polyamory For Me?” Together we share our raw and realistic perspectives on both the potential benefits and challenges of choosing polyamorous relationships. We also help explain the numerous terms that can be confusing for a polyamory beginner. Click here to listen.
Dr. Pam Denton – Blog Talk Radio… Interview #1
Dr. Pam K. Denton is a life change expert, a dedicated writer, facilitator and speaker on the topics of female leadership, intuitive transformation and relationship change. Her talk show, Rise to the Top, is a global community for women who are in search of ways to enhance life and learn about the female form of leadership.
In this particular show, Dr. Pam Denton and I discuss the power of connection in building relationships. We share how women can begin to take down the walls of resistance to attract powerful, expressive and authentic relationships every area of life. Click here to listen.
Dr. Pam Denton – Blog Talk Radio… Interview #2
This second polyamory support interview addresses how to navigate the terrain of polyamory and polyamorous relationships. I share my story about getting into polyamorous relationship counseling and polyamory coaching. Click here to listen.