The practice of polyamory, open relationships, and ethical non-monogamy is becoming more and more widespread.
There’s a lot of information out there and it’s easy to get lost in the sea of possibilities (and questions!). I strongly believe polyamory is, and can be, what you want it to be for yourself and for your partners. In my poly coach practice, I offer polyamory help and advice to singles and couples in order to assist them in creating the kinds of poly relationships they truly desire. I draw from my own polyamorous relationship and poly lifestyle experiences and offer thoughtful perspectives on what love means and how couples can build healthy and sustainable poly relationships based on presence, communication and connection. My sincere desire is to help my clients move through the ups and downs of polyamory with more ease and grace.
Needs vs. Desires In Multiple Loving Relationships
In polyamory and polyamorous relationships, we often confuse desires for needs. We trick ourselves into believing we need someone to act a certain way in order for us to feel a certain way:
“I need you to [edit yourself] so that I don’t have to feel any unpleasant feelings.”
Of course, this isn’t exactly what people say. But, it’s usually what’s hidden underneath the words. We spend so much time trying to control others in order to maintain a sense of emotional balance within ourselves. This strategy may work as a short-term fix. But in the long term, it creates pain, suffering, disconnection, loss of intimacy, and despair in relationships.
Learn more in my full post dedicated to Needs vs. Desires.
Cognitive Polyamory vs. Emotional Polyamory
In my work as a polyamorous relationship coach, I have had multiple conversations with people who intellectually understand polyamory but they struggle with getting their emotions on board. It’s as if everything is okay until it goes “live”. When things go live, emotions get triggered. This is a very natural response. As we begin to look at the feelings that come up in the face of choosing a new kind of relationship, such as polyamory, we get a closer view of our underlying needs and how to get those needs met.
Ready for more? Check out my full post dedicated to Cognitive Polyamory vs. Emotional Polyamory.
Keys To Healthy Multiple Loving Relationships
People who choose to practice polyamory in healthy and sustainable ways are faced with a myriad of opportunities to explore new territory, face challenges, and learn valuable lessons along the way. When considering a polyamorous relationship, it’s important to remember that there is no one way to do polyamory. Your journey and your poly experience will be unique to you and those you choose to be in a relationship with. There may be some similarities, some common threads shared with others who are in polyamorous relationships; however, how you handle what comes up, the choices you make along the way, will be unique to you and your situation.
For more information on how to create healthy and sustainable poly relationships, check out my full post dedicated to Key Points When Considering Polyamory.
How To Shift A Negative Experience Into A Positive One – Quickly
Someone recently contacted me looking for some poly-friendly advice on how to shift a reoccurring negative experience. In that session, we discovered how past programming was affecting their current experience. We were able to see how memories from childhood were stored in my client’s unconsciousness. It was this unconscious energy that was causing the reoccurring negative experience. Having this awareness gave my client a new perspective on what was going on and what they could do to shift it.
Learn how to shift a negative experience into a positive one here.
Drama With Multiple Romantic Partners
Many people who are curious about polyamory are determined to avoid drama in their lives and in their polyamorous relationships. They do whatever they can do to move around any emotionally charged situation in order to stay drama-free. The problem with this is that when we avoid emotionally charged situations, we tend to limit ourselves to our experience of how something should be, rather than how it really is. By focusing on how something should be, we miss out on what is happening in the moment. This limits our opportunity to create an alternative solution in our polyamorous relationship.
For more information, and to get some polyamory advice on how to deal with poly drama, check out my full post dedicated to Dealing With Drama In Polyamorous Relationships.
The Core “Dos And Don’ts” When Loving More Than One
The core do’s and don’ts in polyamorous relationships are similar those in monogamous relationships – only more complex! The main difference, of course, is that there are more people involved with polyamory. This means more experiences to have, more personalities to consider, more emotions to feel, and more communication. Communication is key. Those who are considering or actively engaging in polyamory need to understand the importance of open honest communication. They need to actively practice being willing to talk about topics that might be challenging to talk about. In doing so, they will maximize clarity and understanding and minimize misunderstanding and confusion.
For more poly-friendly advice on communication, check out my full post dedicated to The Core “Dos And Don’ts In Polyamory And Polyamorous Relationships.
Making Your Way On The Polyamorous Path
Venturing into polyamory and polyamorous relationships will offer you opportunities to be with people in ways you never imagined possible. There will be times when things are incredibly amazing and there will be times when things are painfully challenging. Wherever you are in your poly experience, it’s important to understand what makes (and what breaks) a healthy and sustainable polyamorous relationship.
For more in-depth polyamory advice on how to create healthy and sustainable poly relationships, check out my full post dedicated to Polyamory Advice On Keys To Healthy And Sustainable Polyamorous Relationships.
Keep in mind, there’s a learning curve.
When considering polyamory and polyamorous relationships, it’s important to keep in mind that whenever you start something new, there is a learning curve. Sometimes what makes sense to you might not feel good in the process of learning. As your Poly-Coach and guide, I will offer you pointed polyamory help and advice to help you navigate through the challenges you and your partner may face. I will help you identify what you need to do to take your life and your relationships to the next level. And, I will offer you tools to help you get there. Are you ready? Call today for a free 30-minute phone consultation.Schedule your free 30 minute consultation