People seek polyamory and polyamorous relationships for a variety of reasons. Here are a few common ones:
Couples want to play with others
Couples are committed to staying together and they want to be involved with other people. Having a poly relationship offers a framework to explore intimate connections with other people without compromising their connection.
People say, “Hey, that’s me!”
Some people naturally find themselves capable of loving more than one person at a time. It’s as if they’ve identified with the term “polyamory” before realizing the term exists! When they learn that poly is a real thing, they feel a sense of joy and relief. They no longer have to hide who they are or feel alone in their experience. With this new awareness, they feel more confident to actively pursue relationships that feel more aligned with their true nature.
Curious and questioning
Some people like the idea of polyamory but don’t really know what it’s like to be polyamorous. These people tend to dive into the lifestyle to help them determine if polyamory is a good fit for them.
Circumstances present poly as an option
Some people stumble into polyamory as a secondary partner. The secondary partner may be new to polyamory and stay with it so they can be in a relationship with the polyamorous person. The success of any secondary relationship depends on everyone’s ability to stay true to their unique needs and desires and support others in doing the same.
Monogamy doesn’t work
Some people consider polyamorous relationships because they’ve had terrible experiences with monogamy. These people are ready to have an entirely new relationship to relationship. They view polyamory as a great way to be in a relationship with someone without repeating old patterns.
I chose polyamory because I was at a point in my life where I was ready for an upgrade my relationship lifestyle. My previous relationships were all monogamous. And, for whatever reason, each one came to a point where I felt trapped. I often had the sense that I was losing a part of myself. After an incredibly challenging relationship, it became clear to me that I was done with traditional relationships. I was ready to step out of the societal norm and create my own path. I wanted to be in a relationship that supported my deepest desires and supported the deepest desires of my partner or partners. I feel incredibly fortunate that my primary partner and I share the same values regarding our relationship together and our relationship with others. It is dream come true for both of us.