What Makes Polyamorous Relationships Work?

Polyamory Friendly Therapy » What Makes Polyamorous Relationships Work?

A friend of mine recently shared his perspective on what he believes are the essential ingredients for healthy and sustainable poly relationships.  I loved what he had to say and thought others might too.

Here are his three essential ingredients for healthy and sustainable poly relationships:

Emotional connection

Those involved have a genuine sense of love, care, and support for one another. They choose to be together because they enjoy each other’s company.

This is where polyamory might be different than swinging. In my experience, poly people seek intimate connection first.  Sex is the icing on the cake. And, in many cases, poly folks get to have their cake and eat it too!!!

Clear Agreements

When agreements are made, they are clear, respected, and honored. Communication is crucial in order for everyone to be clear on what the agreement is, how long the agreement will last, and how to address any agreement that’s broken.


A solid poly support network creates a space for people to feel safe and to share their experiences with others.  When we give each other space to be who we are and allow others to do the same we are actively creating a more healthy and sustainable experience for everyone.  We may have to learn how to best support each other.  This is where coaching can be helpful.


To learn more about my poly friendly therapy approach and to see if working together is the best fit for you, contact me and schedule a Poly-Coach Session today!

About the Author

Laurie Ellington

I teach people how to break through false beliefs and negative behavior patterns. I offer my clients tools that empower their life and their relationships.