For many, polyamory is a form of ethical non-monogamy in which all parties are open to having multiple loving relationships that may or may not be sexual.
People in polyamorous relationships understand the importance of open, honest, communication and choose to act in ways that respect others.
To learn more about how I define polyamory, watch the video below and read the transcript that follows.
Hi there. My name is Laurie Ellington, poly-coach.com. That’s poly-coach.com. I work with individuals and couples in all kinds of relationships. I specialize in open relationships, non-monogamy, and polyamorous relationships. One of my favorite questions and also one of my most challenging questions to answer is, how do you define polyamory? It’s hard for me to answer that question because there are so many different ways of defining polyamory. I will Google it and see what’s newest on the internet. I consider asking Siri, “Siri, what’s Polyamory?” and I’m sure she’ll come up with a new answer every time.
What I’ve learned is that polyamory is a challenging word to describe. Everyone seems to have their own relationship to polyamory. They have their own stories. They have their own perspectives. They have their own pros and cons. When it comes down to how I personally describe polyamory and how I personally describe polyamorous relationships, it’s very personal. It’s something that my partner and I just organically created and have developed over time. Yes, we started out as being in a polyamorous relationship. We have learned and cultivated skills to be poly and to be in a polyamorous relationship in a healthy way. We’ve learned a lot about communication. We’ve learned a lot about connection. We’ve learned a lot about transparency. We learned a lot about how to be true to ourselves and how to be true to our desires. And, how to communicate our desires to each other in a way that creates and nourishes the connection in our relationship.
I would define polyamorous as a way of being non-monogamous in your life, in your relationship, or in your relationship lifestyle in a way where you are a hundred percent transparent. When you are a hundred percent transparent, you communicate what’s going on for you, and you share your desires with other people. That doesn’t necessarily mean that if you are having a feeling or if someone else is having a feeling that you have to change what you’re doing or they have to change what they’re doing. It’s like you are creating a relationship that works for you that is outside of the box.
Polyamory is an invitation to create and recreate a new way of being in a relationship with yourself and with other people. It’s how do we open up our hearts and how can we open up our and deepen our levels of intimacy with other people in ways that may or not may be sexual? Yes, sometimes polyamory will take us down those routes where we have sexual experiences with other people. And when that happens, we communicate with everybody. Everybody’s aware of what’s going on. Everyone’s in the “know”, which means everyone’s in the “yes.” Nothing’s hidden. There are no secrets. Nothing is behind the couch over there waiting to jump out.
In practicing polyamory, we are practicing what it’s like to be truly open. Open with yourself, open with your hearts, open with other people, open with your desires, and open with your fears and your insecurities and your jealousies. A lot of this lifestyle for me has been one of transformation and one of on the path to enlightenment. I am finding that the more I open up myself and my heart, the more open and available I am to love and be loved by other people. It’s really amazing.
That’s my way of defining polyamorous. my way of defining what polyamorous relationship means to me.
I encourage you to do your own research and I encourage you to do your own investigation. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me, Laurie Ellington, poly-coach.com. That’s Laurie Ellington, poly-coach.com. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m also on Facebook. I’m on Twitter. I’m on all the social media channels. So, please send me a message. I’d love to have a conversation with you. I offer a Poly-Coach consultation to anyone who’s interested in working with me or just has a question about what it’s like to be polyamorous and how I may help you in discovering what’s true for you. Contact me. Thank you. Bye-bye.