This is a big one. Once you’ve had the conversations and made the decision to venture into the polyamorous lifestyle, how do you go about finding other poly people and potential playmates?
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Suggestions
Online dating sites are a great place to start. OkCupid is very poly-friendly. There are other sites that are less common and often have a service charge. OkCupid is one of my favorites because you can be very specific on your profile and it’s free!
Phone apps
Tinder is a popular way to find sex-positive people. Bumble is another. I do caution you to offer a clear presentation of who you are and what you are looking for. Many people use Tinder and similar apps as hookup sites. Although that can be fun, there are other options as well. Again, it’s important to be clear with your intentions.
Meetup groups
I have found many open relationship and polyamory friendly groups on meetup.com. You can search all over the web, and join groups that interest you. Many groups get together to share and discuss topics related to open relationships, and all things poly. Meetup groups are a great way to meet people, learn some new skills, and get yourself out there.
Like meetup.com, there are groups on Facebook that cater to open relationships, polyamory, and polyamorous dating. Be sure to read the fine print in the “about” section of the group. Many groups discourage private messaging to group members. That said, joining a group, may engage you in having conversations, creating connections, and participating in special events.
Fetlife
Fetlife is a free social media network for those interested in kink. It’s worth checking out to see what is being offered in your area. You may find some like-minded people and create some really fun connections!
Swinger sites
There are a variety of swinger sites and groups out there. Adult Friend Finder, Swingers Dating Club, and Kasidie are a few. There is usually a free one-month trial, and then you pay a monthly fee thereafter. Swingers are typically more interested in sex, less interested in the emotional connections that many polyamorous people like. However, you never know what’s out there until you take a look. Personally, I think swinging is a nice way for a single person or a couple to get their feet wet in meeting other sex-positive people. It will definitely open the door for new kinds of conversations and connections!
Craigslist
Yes, you can meet potential playmates on craigslist. Be very clear with what you are looking for and very clear with how you present yourself to others. This will save you a lot of time and potential frustration.
Need help?
To learn more about my poly friendly therapy approach and to see if working together is the best fit for you, contact me and schedule a Poly-Coach Session today!
