Show Notes
In this episode of The Poly Tantra Kink Podcast, Laurie Ellington sits down with tantra pioneer and Urban Tantra founder Barbara Carrellas for a powerful conversation on queer tantra, erotic inclusivity, and ecstatic possibility.
Barbara shares how her work was born during the AIDS crisis in New York City alongside Annie Sprinkle and Joseph Kramer, and how that moment shaped her lifelong commitment to inclusive erotic spirituality. Together, Laurie and Barbara explore what it means to create brave spaces for all bodies, genders, orientations, and abilities, and how curiosity is the foundation of authentic connection.
They discuss breath and energy orgasms, the orgasm spectrum, leadership and power dynamics in teaching, the intersection of safety and risk, and why joy and humor are gateways to spirit. Barbara also shares insights from her upcoming book, The Book of Ecstasy, and offers listeners access to her guided breath and energy orgasm practice.
This episode is a reminder that ecstasy is available to anybody with breath and a beating heart, and that desire can be sacred without being sanitized.
Episode Highlights
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The origins of Urban Tantra during the AIDS crisis
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Classical tantra vs. contemporary neo-tantra
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Queer as curiosity and invitation
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Creating brave spaces through agreements and consent
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The “Oops/Ouch” and WAIT leadership principles
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The orgasm spectrum beyond genital release
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Breath and energy orgasms as accessible ecstatic practice
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Why ecstasy lives at the intersection of safety and risk
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Values, needs, and desire in polyamorous relationships
About Barbara Carrellas
Barbara Carrellas is the author of the first LGBTQ+ inclusive tantric sex guide, Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty First Century. She has also written Ecstasy is Necessary and Luxurious Loving.
Barbara is the founder of Urban Tantra®, an all-gender, all-sexual-preferences-welcome approach to sacred sexuality that blends practices from Tantra to BDSM. She has been named Best Tantric Sex Seminar Leader in New York City by Time Out/NY and received a Lifetime Achievement Award at the Sexual Freedom Awards in London.
Links & Resources Mentioned
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Barbara Carrellas: https://barbaracarrellas.com
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Guided Breath & Energy Orgasm Meditation (audio practice)
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Urban Tantra by Barbara Carrellas on Amazon
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The Book of Ecstasy (releasing August 2026)
Connect with Laurie Ellington
Website: poly-coach.com
Instagram: @polycoaching
Work with Laurie:
Explore coaching for polyamory, open relationships, tantra, sacred sexuality, and conscious kink.
