Show Notes
In this enlightening episode of The Poly Tantra Kink Podcast, Laurie Ellington sits down with Dr. Elisabeth “Eli” Sheff, the foremost academic expert on polyamorous families with children. Drawing from more than three decades of longitudinal research, Dr. Sheff shares what actually supports children thriving in polyamorous households — from emotional intelligence and communication skills to resilience, honesty, and community care.
Together, they unpack common myths about poly parenting, explore the importance of non-sexual “poly-affective” relationships, and discuss real-world considerations like disclosure, stigma, schools, and custody risks. This conversation offers grounded reassurance and practical guidance for parents who are curious, concerned, or already navigating polyamory with children.
Episode Highlights
- Why polyamorous families face no problems unique to polyamory
- How children benefit from multiple caregivers and honest communication
- The role of non-sexual “poly-affective” relationships in family stability
- How kids actually experience their parents’ partners
- Navigating stigma, privacy, and disclosure with schools and family
- Legal and custody considerations for polyamorous parents
- Advice for parents considering opening their relationship
About Dr. Elisabeth Sheff
Dr. Elisabeth “Eli” Sheff is a researcher, expert witness, coach, speaker, and educational consultant. With a PhD in Sociology and certification as a Sexuality Educator from AASECT, Dr. Eli specializes in gender and sexual minority families, consensual non-monogamy, and kink/BDSM.
Sheff is the foremost academic expert on polyamorous families with children, and her 30+ year Polyamorous Family Study is the only longitudinal study of poly families with children to date. Dr. Eli has served as faculty at seven universities and currently chairs the CNM Legal Issues Team for the American Psychological Association, Division 44 Committee on CNM. She is also a member of the board of directors for the Center for Positive Sexuality.
Sheff has published four books, over 30 peer-reviewed journal articles and chapters, and is currently co-editing a series of books on relationship and sexual diversity in collaboration with Rowman and Littlefield.
Links & Resources Mentioned
- Dr. Elisabeth Sheff’s website: elisabethsheff.com
- Psychology Today blog: The Polyamorists Next Door
- The Polyamorists Next Door book by Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, available on Amazon
Connect with Laurie Ellington
Website: poly-coach.com
Instagram: @polycoaching
Work with Laurie:
Explore coaching for polyamory, open relationships, tantra, sacred sexuality, and conscious kink.
