Clients often make insightful discoveries during our work together. It’s common for a light to turn on and suddenly what was unclear is now clear. This is when positive change can happen. This is where the heart of my coaching resides.
Below is a list of the most common areas where clients experience breakthroughs:
Beliefs
Clients get a clear understanding that they have been living their lives based on someone else’s belief system. The belief is often tied to a story. “I’m not good enough,” is a common one. “Open relationships are wrong,” is another one. These beliefs are not necessarily true. Part of my role as a coach is to actively question people’s beliefs, especially if these beliefs are based on self-defeating stories. My intention is not to prove anyone wrong. My intention is to help my clients see for themselves which of their beliefs are true and empowering and which ones are false and disempowering. When clients begin to question their own beliefs, they often make eye-opening connections. In these “ah-ha” moments, clients often feel a rush of energy and a sense of expansion. They see that the belief and it’s story-line does not match up with reality. They realize that they are no longer limited to a story or that story’s expectation. They feel more confident in who they are and how do they want to live.
My intention is not to prove anyone wrong. My intention is to help my clients see for themselves which of their beliefs are true and empowering and which ones are false and disempowering. When clients begin to question their own beliefs, they often make eye-opening connections. In these “ah-ha” moments, clients often feel a rush of energy and a sense of expansion. They see that the belief and it’s story-line does not match up with reality. They realize that they are no longer limited to a story or that story’s expectation. They feel more confident in who they are and how do they want to live.
When clients begin to question their own beliefs, they often make eye-opening connections. In these “ah-ha” moments, clients often feel a rush of energy and a sense of expansion. They see that the belief and it’s story-line does not match up with reality. They realize that they are no longer limited to a story or that story’s expectation. They feel more confident in who they are and how do they want to live.
Acceptance
The practice of accepting what “is” is a significant aspect of my coaching approach. When we give space for our experience to be okay, we give ourselves an opportunity to feel safe being who we are and allowing others to do the same. People are programmed to react to their experience or their partner’s experience. This shows up for clients when they are dealing with an emotional conflict. For example, a couple may judge each other when either is confronted with an unpleasant emotion. This emotion is seen as bad and the person who is experiencing the emotion is often blamed for having the emotion. When this happens in a session, I stop the conversation immediately. It serves no one to blame another for having an emotion. Emotions come and go. When they are activated, it can be really intense. Rather than resist the emotion, we need to allow it to be okay and see what it has to show us. In doing so, we often become aware of an unmet need. With this awareness, we can find ways to meet that need. In practicing acceptance, we give ourselves permission to be who we are. When done in the context of a relationship, this creates a deeper sense of connection and intimacy.
Communication
When a couple tells me they want to work on their communication, my heart sings. Helping people find healthy ways to express themselves is one of my strongest areas in coaching. It’s incredibly moving for me to be able to hold space for someone to share something that seems almost impossible to share. It’s an honor to support someone in this tender place. It’s an honor to be able to walk them through the process of getting present with their experience. When people are supported in this process, they become more aware of what they need and how to ask for support in getting their needs met. Couples often practice skills they learn in sessions and then share their progress in follow-up sessions. Where there was once frustration with an inability to communicate, now there is empowerment, understanding, and support in creating solutions that work for everyone.
To learn more about my coaching technique and to see if working together is the best fit for you, contact me and schedule a Poly-Coach Session today!
