Have you ever heard of an “elephant in the room”?
What about an “elephant in the closet”?
I’m referring to the things that are unspoken between two or more people. The moments when everyone is certain something is there, something unspoken is lying dormant, just waiting to pop!
I find it fascinating how often people in all kinds of relationships, especially open relationships, struggle to keep those elephants at bay. They pretend they are not there. They put them in the corner of the room. They even stuff them in the closet! All the while, those “elephants” and the stories, beliefs, energies they contain, continue to build and build. Before you know it, there’s a whole herd of elephants, parading around, creating havoc and conflict, leaving people wondering… “Am I missing something?”
Do you know what I’m talking about? How do you deal with it? Do you? Have you ever considered what the “elephant” means and what magic it holds in terms of your relationship?
In my opinion, the “elephant” is the part of ourselves we are scared to share. It may be linked to our inner child, a hidden fear/desire or the part of us that says, “I can’t say that!” Regardless of what “it” is for you, the fact that is there, grabbing your attention means something. It’s an invitation. Yes, an invitation. An invitation to be more of who you are, with whomever you are with at that given moment. You see, when we are willing to address the “elephants,” the secret parts of ourselves, our hidden desires, magic unfolds, new experiences are born. Amazing opportunities await us when we take risks in acknowledging the “elephants in the room,” in calling them out, and in naming them for who/what they are. Those enormous creatures begin to lose their power over us. The result? More freedom, more ease, more joy, more space to be who you truly are! How does it get any better?
Why do I share this with you?
My intention as an open relationship coach is to help my clients become more aware of the “elephants” that show up in their day to day lives, in their most intimate relationships, and in the areas of their lives where they feel stuck. I ask pointed, yet sensitive questions, that allow each client to uncover their own unique “elephant.” I offer them tools to lean into the message and meaning behind the symbol, and I assist them with asking their own questions, holding a space for them to make their own discoveries, connect their own dots, and ultimately get clear with what is happening, and how to best proceed.
In a nutshell, I help my clients dispel the notion that the “elephants in the closet” are bad, something to be afraid of, and unwelcome. Furthermore, I demonstrate and teach people effective communication and authentic relating skills that enable them to deal with uncomfortable situations with more ease and grace, with more confidence and self-empowerment.