People often ask me how they can prepare for an open relationship coaching session. They want to know what to do, what to bring, and how to “show up.” My response to this question is always the same: “The best preparation is to be yourself. Everything else will fall into place.” That said, I find it helpful to give an idea of what people can expect in a typical session.
Each open relationship coaching session is unique
Clients come to me for a variety of reasons. Most have questions and are looking for support as they navigate the unpredictable terrain of ethical non-monogamy. They want to talk with someone who has experience in the lifestyle. They want to talk with a professional who has skills to help them with their situation. There is no one “type” of open relationship client. I work with individuals, couples, and groups. I address clients’ needs in the moment and together we come up with a plan to move forward.
I take notes during every session. Notes allow me to keep track of the conversation and key points that clients address during a session. I often refer to my notes during an open relationship coaching session to help clarify things we’ve addressed, ask pointed questions, and offer action steps for clients to work on between coaching sessions.
When a client comes to me, I give them my full attention. I’m a firm believer that every story needs to be heard, at least once. Sharing our story gives us an opportunity to see it for what it is. Sharing our story gives us insight into our role in it. This allows us to consider what actions we can take to shift the story and create an entirely new experience.
Identification of patterns
I look for patterns in behavior, thoughts, story, and beliefs. It is common for me to interrupt an open relationship coaching client in mid-sentence to call out a pattern. Why? Patterns tend to keep us stuck in the unconscious realm. By calling them out, we create awareness of our experience and of our patterns. This awareness brings the unconscious into consciousness. This process allows us to step out of unhealthy patterns and create positive shifts in our lives and in our relationships.
Integrity to service
My goal is to serve each client in whatever way I can. I give my coaching clients my full attention by holding space for them to be who they are, free of judgment and expectation. I am very honest. I openly share my observations. I bring attention to patterns and offer insights on how those patterns impact the client’s life and relationships. I teach skills and suggest specific action steps to help clients create positive changes in their relationships. I help empower clients to make choices that will help them achieve their goals. If a client comes to me and I feel like they would be better off working with another professional, I refer them to someone who can best meet their needs.
Confidentiality is essential when providing open relationship coaching services. The information shared in a session stays in that session. If I am working with a couple receiving open relationship coaching services and each person wants a private coaching session with me, what is shared in that session stays in that session. Confidentiality creates safety. I hold confidentiality with the highest regard.
Together, we are a team. We learn together, we grow together, we create positive changes together. We work with a team focus, and everyone feels supported. It’s a win-win situation for all.
To learn more about how I use an open relationship counseling approach in my coaching and to see if working together is the best fit for you, contact me and schedule a Poly-Coach Session today!