People often choose to work with me because I have extensive personal experience in the open relationship lifestyle. This is a great selling point for some and here’s why:
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People feel safe and easily understood
Clients often come to me after having been with a more traditional relationship counselor that did not truly understand their situation. They express a feeling of being judged for their decision to be in an open relationship. Oftentimes, they share stories about how they were compelled to educate the counselor on why they were doing what they were doing. This, of course, would add stress any situation.
Finding a professional that understands and can relate to your situation is incredibly important. Having been in an open relationship for a number of years and having coached hundreds of individuals and couples in how to create healthy and sustainable open relationships, I feel qualified to address almost any situation. I always encourage couples to consider all of their options when hiring someone to work with. If they hire me, great. If they choose someone else, that’s fine too. What’s important to me is that everyone feels met and supported in where they are and where they want to be in their lives and in their relationship.
Clients feel accepted
Although the practice of ethical non-monogamy is getting more attention, it still falls into the category of an untraditional lifestyle. This presents many challenges for anyone who aligns with open relationships because they often feel alone in their experience. They don’t know who to talk to and they don’t know how to ask for help. Feeling accepted for who you and what you need is incredibly important and it is an area on which I put a lot of attention when I meet with a client. Feeling accepted opens the door to a deeper sense of being met and feeling seen. When we are accepted, we feel more confident in who we are and we feel more empowered to make choices that serve our highest intentions.
Individuals and couples learn tools they can use immediately
I made the switch from monogamy to an open relationship because monogamy was not working for me. Part of the reason monogamy did not work for me was that I would often lose touch with parts of myself and feel trapped. I did not have access to the tools I have access to now. Those tools being: owning my experience, practicing authentic communication, and holding space for my partner to be seen and heard while asking the same in return. Being in an open relationship has opened the door for me to explore who I am in completely new ways. As an open relationship expert and coach, I am able to share tools, offer examples, and give feedback on how those tools have helped me in my life. Clients learn from my direct experience. They see the result of my personal work and gain insight on how they can apply my learned skills to their own situation.
Conclusion
Finding the right person to work with can be very challenging. It’s incredibly important for you to feel met where you are and feel supported in where you want to be. Initial consultations and exploratory sessions are a great way to see if the professional you are considering working with is the best person for the job. When someone calls me for an initial consultation, I give them my 100% attention. I let them ask questions that help them understand where I am coming from and how I might be able to help them. Together we get clear on what’s the next best step for them and if it’s best to work with me or to work with someone else.
To learn more about how I use an open relationship counseling approach in my coaching and to see if working together is the best fit for you, contact me and schedule a Poly-Coach Session today!
