A little bit about me and my journey
My journey with polyamory, open relationships, and ethical non-monogamy began when I made a declaration to upgrade my way of being in relationships. I had a history of being in monogamous relationships. As with any kind of relationship, there were ups and downs, pros and cons, and lessons to be learned. At times I enjoyed the comfort of a secure relationship and at other times I felt stuck. It was as if I was trapped inside a box. My wings often felt clipped. I always had a sense that I was limiting myself. And for whatever reason, I accepted this as normal and let it be okay. I was one of those “go-with-the-flow” kind of girls. Stirring the pot in any relationship was not something I allowed myself to do.
The catalyst for my change was an incredibly harsh and unpleasant relationship. I knew going into it that it probably was not the best choice. There were red flags everywhere. And rather than walk away, I stayed in it. Things went from bad to worse. It was crazy, unhealthy, incredibly co-dependent, manipulative, and emotionally abusive. At one point, I woke up and realized I needed to get out. I realized that in order for anything to shift, I needed to be the one to take the first step and leave for good. And that’s what I did.
From that point on, I vowed to never go back to anything that resembled losing myself in any kind of relationship. I vowed to never settle for anything less than what I truly desired in my heart, regardless of what others thought or felt. I realized then, that I was about to embark on a journey of living a new kind of life, surrounded by amazing people, creating and cultivating relationships that felt incredibly aligned with my body, mind, and spirit. It was during that fertile period of listening to my heart, asking for what I truly desired, and allowing the Universe to respond, that I met my soul mate, life partner, and best friend.
It’s funny because the day we call our anniversary is the day we had a phone call about our connection. He said, “Ok listen. I’m poly. I’ll always be poly. I have another girlfriend, and I’ll probably always have another girlfriend or two if I can help it, for as long as we’re together. If you think you can handle that, let’s talk.” We talked. The conversation was amazing! It felt to me like the Universe was presenting a new way of being in a relationship that I had never considered possible before. And now, this guy that I had known and trusted for years, was inviting me in. I was ecstatic. At one point I said to him, “So… If you get to have another girlfriend and have the freedom to follow your desires, does that mean I get to do the same? Does that mean you’ll support me if I want to have an additional boyfriend, girlfriend, or both?” His response, “Absolutely!”
In that moment something shifted for me, and I think for him too. We both saw the potential for a new kind of relationship. It felt amazing! From that point on, our relationship deepened and continues to deepen every day. I can honestly say I’m the happiest I have ever been. I feel so free to be me. I feel incredibly blessed to have a primary partner who encourages me to be my authentic self and to follow my desires. And, I am equally delighted to support my primary partner in doing the same. It sincerely is a dream come true!
So how and why did I become an Open Relationship, Polyamory, and Polyamorous Relationship Coach?
I have always loved working with people and supporting them to make positive changes in their lives. Having been in numerous teaching roles and capacities for the past 20 years, I consider myself a natural born teacher, coach, and guide. I attended a two-year coaching and apprenticeship program to learn how to help people break through limiting beliefs and patterns that kept them stuck in unhealthy relationships. This training, coupled with my open relationship and polyamorous lifestyle, led me to consider blending the two. The result was the creation of a coaching practice geared towards the practice of ethical non-monogamy, open relationships, and polyamory ~ Poly-Coach.
One thing that fascinates me about my coaching practice is that I continuously get to learn more about myself with every client. I get to share my experience of what it’s like to be polyamorous. I get to share tools I have learned along the way. It’s an amazing positive feedback loop where everyone benefits, all the time. A continuous flow of growth and connection, possibility, and renewal, joy and love.
I feel grateful for what I do and grateful to know my life experience has value. I see how the work I do helps others make positive changes in their life and in their relationships.
To be clear: I work with individuals and couples in all kinds of relationships. I have an emphasis on open relationships, polyamory, and ethical non-monogamy because I live in the lifestyle. That said, I have no desire or intention to convert anyone to polyamory. I support people in discovering what is in true alignment for themselves. I offer tools to help people learn how to cultivate relationships that resonate with their heart and soul.
Thank you for reading. I look forward to working with you!